“Porn is like junk food, don´t eat it” was a line I recently read when I did research about porn.
For quite some time now(more than 50% of my entire life) I was consuming porn. I never felt shame or regret of course not.
Slapping the salami while watching some hot chicks playing with there fruit is definetely
It´s friday 1.pm and we had just 2 more hours programming in school. All of us were so exausthed of not listening and acting our teacher claimed us to do. We were gamer and not people who needs to proof there worthiness of living by improving their lifes and develop their personality. What an irony.
Instead we made strategies how to win on dust, in which way we can reach a q3 plateau with just two rocket jumps and how to boost our shooter config to get 2 more lousy frames. Thats all we need to be totally happy and focused. In fact we basically never tried to be happy and
never left our comfortzone to grow and stretch ourselfs. Dude, we´ve been overweight and single. We have to be happy!
Especially on organised lan parties it was common sense to digest and share porn.
My major rule was “lets collect everything – there is enough time to delete it later”. In the beginning on Lan parties I just wanted to play with my mates and have fun but with the time my perspective switched so from than on I wanted to leech porn… more and more.
What a wonderful time when we were exchanging FTP-IPs and network share names.
“Holy Moly! What a huge data pile?! Unreal!! 400 GB just games and porn, Chris.”
“Ha watch this. I got one with all Gina Wild movies in 700MB quality”.
When there was not much or nothing to leech at all I got grumpy and anoyed.
I was masturbating pretty much every day without even think of what I was doing. It felt so comfortable and normal like breathing.
The good things are at hand. I didn´t have to talk to girls and risk rejection from them. What a big deal especially as a virgin. I could just select what I want to see instantly. I could have it all the time. When I felt lonely I jerked. When I felt bored I jerked. I even jerked for no reason, just to get it done like homework.
I higly recommend this one!
Seven years ago when I was with my first girlfriend we tried for weeks to have sex but I could not get horny enough like I was kind of blunted. I realized I got a problem here. Was I so numbed up to get horny with real naked girls? I mean I watched so much stuff sometimes two or three movies simultaneously.
Everytime it worked and make me come but there were times I need more material attraction to reach the same level of hornieness. In real life it was even worse. There she was in front of me. These were real tits man. A real woman with a real body and lips and eyes and hair and nice descent and and and you still have a flat tire? I felt sooo bad. I couldn´t help myself nor could she. I couldn´t even explain it to her or anyone. I begann to understand that most women in such a situation were feeling bad too. What a horror.
Till end of last year I never really questioned porn or my sexual behaviour in total but now I changed at least I changed my point of view about it.
Don´t get me wrong I will not say that porn is harming everybody and that you are looser with no self estem when you watch porn. I just figured out for myself that I can enjoy sex and women much more when I reduce porn.
So this is what I understand:
When you masturbate you produce dopamin. The same stuff you produce when you eat and take drugs.
So you are watching porn and have awesome solo sex. Your brain is now connecting dopamin to the pictures which run in front of you mostly overdozed wonderwomen with niples to put your shirt on. With the time your brain get used to it and is literally saying “If you want to get hard again you have to pay. Give me these asses and I want this. Hmhm or what about threesome today? Grml, this butt from yesterday was so good. Lets give it just a quick glance again will ya?!.”
The last two years I experimented a little with on and off phases with porn.
Now it is my second attempt to stop with porn entirely. I am on day 18 and I am talking just about quitting porn… 😀
For now I feel ok with it and do not have many urges to check xvideos.